Uncomfortably at ease

Pain....words come to mind.  Exhausted.  Don't care too much of making sense.  Need to let it out, but at the same time don't even want to go there.   Moments of ok, moments even could be confused as happiness.  Uncertainty.....certain of uncertainty.  Life is art, none of it makes real sense, its not supposed to.  Sober, maybe just losing my mind, maybe just genius, maybe just hoping, probably just lost.  Too broken to cry,  too anxious to sit - want more -need more.  Alone, around millions, clastrophobic, desolate.  More, more need more.  Have no answers, need an answer...i give myself answers.   I know the truth,  I hate the truth,  I live the truth.  Don't know where my out is.  Run, I always run.  Uncomfortably at ease  -this is what i'm used to, this is what i know.  Its what i find beautiful, but need to let go of.  Always need to let go, never hold on, always on your own.  You are your all.